Moving Forward Living in Reverse

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
- Brandon Heath

We've spent the past couple of days with another American family that we met here at the hotel, Aric and Juleigh Smith. They have a daughter that is (3)-years-old that was adopted previously, and they're in the process of finalizing an adoption later this month of an (18)-month-old boy that is with them now. It's been terrific to meet others from back home, and particularly Aric and Juleigh because they've been here quite awhile. Their story is fairly lengthy, and we don't think it would be appropriate to share it in a format such as this, but it's definitely appropriate to say that they have been through a tremendous amount, both heartbreaking, and inspirational.

Today Michele, Jordan, and I walked with Aric to a local produce stand to buy fresh fruit and a local Guest House (our understanding is they house individuals here doing mission work) in which the Smith's were acquaintances of the staff and we were able to buy Beef and Chicken Pies (they were like Pot Pies back home but homemade and the breading was like pie crust.....they were delicious!!). We purchased fresh pineapples, mangoes, and oranges at the produce stand and they too were very tasty as an after-dinner treat. We've tried very hard to do everything possible to save money anyway that we can as things here are very expensive, particularly when you throw in the taxi service to and from eating establishments.

While we were gone, Alexis provided babysitting services for the boys. Kwame slept the whole time and Koby cried the whole time. We had been at the pool quite awhile this morning (and this can be verified by sunburn on various family members.....lol!) and Koby was extremely tired, but there is more to this that we'll touch on later.

It's hard to describe what walking around our hotel is like to those that have never been here. There are goats and chickens wandering the streets and while the people we pass are friendly, it's hard not to feel that many of them are simply attempting to make it through another day. The hotels, as well as most other establishments including homes, are surrounded by solid walls topped by electric or razor wire. People we've spoken to claim that crime is not bad but that the walls act as deterrents.

The traffic here is unbelievable, with many of the drivers seemingly creating their own rules, but there does not seem to be a high number of accidents that we've witnessed, so perhaps everyone is so accustomed to the way that people drive that it doesn't really pose a problem like we would expect back home. Obviously the infrastructure is very fragile and roadways are narrow. The power grid is also shaky and even in Accra, power can go out a couple of times a week (we lost power in this area twice last night).

This is in no way intended to be a slight towards Accra, or Ghana, or Africa. It is an attempt (and perhaps it's a really weak one as I don't believe anyone could truly appreciate the lives people live here without experiencing it themselves) to express how incredulous it is that such a disparity could exist economically on the same planet. To see the children here, to hear the stories about the starvation, their treatment, their fights to simply survive, and to know that we're in the "good" part of Africa, is simply abhorrent, and a travesty before God. God has not failed these people. We have dramatically failed God.

To many, this will seem melodramatic, sound like a "reallocation of wealth" speech, etc. For those of you that know us, you know that could not be farther from the truth. This is simply a blog from two people that can't rationalize how there could be so many resources on Earth, yet children like Koby and Kwame spent the first nearly five and three years of their lives begging for food to survive. We haven't been able to post many pictures, but if you've seen those that Alexis has posted, they are extremely small. They are malnourished, and that's after spending two months in an orphanage where we know they are fed and well-cared for. It's hard to fathom what they looked like before that. We have a beautiful one-year-old grandson and there is no question that Brantley is bigger than Kwame, who we're told is three. Koby and Kwame are absolutely gorgeous little boys, but their lack of size is sometimes incredible to comprehend.

As for the boys, they are both doing very well overall! Kwame has especially grown attached to Alexis and his little hand is often holding hers being led this way or that.

Koby loves to swim, loves to color (actually they both love that!), and has learned so much in three days. He is learning English so fast it's beyond impressive. He can count to nearly (30), now knows right away what various phrases mean such as "going swimming", "brush our teeth", etc. He has an insatiable appetite for learning.

Kwame watches Koby often and loves to emulate his older brother. He also loves to learn new things and they both, like all children, are so happy when they can please mommy and daddy with their latest achievement (we've seen a lot of colored pictures in the last two days.......lol!!).

There are many aspects of their behavior, however, that we can't understand because we can't honestly appreciate what they've been through, and we can't understand what they're trying to say. It's unquestionable that Kobe is the more frustrated of the two at times because he can obviously communicate well with other people here, yet he's in a situation where we have no clue what he is saying. We try to have others help interpret when possible, and that helps, but it is so hard for him, we're sure.

Kofi explained in detail about their necessity for begging for food and that explanation is definitely accurate to some of the things we've witnessed regarding their frustration when we have to simply say "no" after they've had enough. We literally are running out of food and we brought a considerable amount with us. They really do eat as if each meal is their last. We're sure that once they are with us and trust the fact that they will be fed nutritional and properly proportioned meals, this behavior will stop, but for now, it's unbelievable to watch how much two boys this small can eat. It's another in a long list of things you really "have to see to believe" that we've been a part of during this trip.

Koby has times where he seems to be grieving. Again, because of the communication barriers, we're not certain if this is the first time he's been away from his family for this long, is simply scared because he is now truly on his own since we can't speak his language and he's never experienced this before, or any number of other possible explanations. We mention the family because our understanding is that some of the kids in the orphanage actually have relatives that live nearby and they see their aunts, uncles, etc., periodically, or even frequently. We don't know if that applies to Koby and Kwame or not, but we'll find out from Kofi later in the week.

In closing for now, there is no doubt in our minds that adopting these two boys truly is a Blessing from God. In reading this blog back prior to publishing, it might come across as kind of a "downer" to some. We certainly don't look at it that way at all. This trip has also been reaffirming from a Faith standpoint. It's truly been a Divine wake-up call to show us how truly lucky we are. I can't speak for Michele, but I can admit that I've cried more than once being here. It's really sad at times to see people have to live like this, through no fault of their own other than the misfortune on their part of where they were born.

It is impossible to be here and not feel ashamed at the things we consider to be hardships in the United States. We have no idea what hard lives are, and that includes many that we would consider "impoverished". We continue to pray that even though it's only two boys, that this adoption touches numerous others along the way, and they too choose to act to lift up another human being that is truly suffering. Sometimes, it's the littlest of things that turn a life around. We recently heard a saying that rang true for us........."It's not how much you give, it's that you give what you can".

It's also hard to not be discouraged by how long the adoption process is, and how unbelievably expensive it is to adopt a child, and we've been lucky enough to have a tremendous agency and orphanage to work with, as well as being matched with two incredible orphans very quickly.

Given the horrendous state of this world relative to the number of orphans, in conjunction with the number of families that surely would provide loving homes to so many, there has to be a way to improve the overall process. The costs, documentation, enhanced in-country requirements, and a variable list of other drawbacks are not helping those that are the most vulnerable of us all.....the orphans.

There is no question that the United States can do more to promote adoptions of all kinds, but in particular international adoptions. We pray that this happens soon, because each day that goes by for millions of children with no families throughout a myriad of countries, life continues to be little more than hoping to live to see the next day, or worse, praying that they won't. God Bless.