The Road Less Traveled By

There are no foreign lands.  It is the traveler only who is foreign.
 - Robert Louis Stevenson

Some final miscellaneous notes from an unbelievable trip to Koby and Kwame's homeland:

• The lizards in Ghana are awesome!  We saw lizards in food courts at the Accra Mall and at the ocean, and they were numerous and fun to watch.  Jordan wasn't initially to sure about them, but after awhile he couldn't get enough of them!
• Independence Day in Ghana was the day after we left, Tuesday, March 6, but they began celebrating on Friday with honking horns, etc.  It was really incredible to see the country pride that the people had, despite economic difficulties, etc.
• The prices at places like the Accra Mall and Koala (a grocery store) were extremely high.  When discussing this issue with Kofi, he informed us that few local people actually shop at places such as these, with many simply buying food at a local stand and eating one meal a day.  We shopped for items we had forgotten such as a belt, and the only belts we could find were 90 Cedis (approximately $60).
• Yes, Wal-Mart is in Africa!  It was called Game in Accra but many of the product tags said Wal-Mart on them and they utilized the same "Dropping Prices" signage.  Unlike here, however, Game was expensive!
• Even those people living in shanty-like homes attempted to sell things.  It was not unusual to see very rudimentary structures with signs out front that said things like "Ice Cream for Sale".
•  Church in Accra was a very special event with services lasting two to four hours in many cases.  There were numerous billboards advertising what appeared to be mega-churches.
• Seeing pictures of women carrying large objects on their heads on television, and then seeing them live, represent two vastly different levels of appreciation for the actual skill involved.  Kofi said that many women practice a very long time to be able to perfect the practice.  We witnessed numerous women balancing things on their head while simultaneously carrying a baby on their back and holding the hand of another small child all while walking down the sidewalk.  It was truly incredible to observe.
• The Accra Mall movie theater was showing Safe House, the latest Denzel Washington release.
• Picture taking in Accra was not as straightforward as it is in the United States.  Numerous places did not allow picture taking, and as a custom, it was recommended that we ask anyone before taking their picture.  Some people would even ask for money to take their picture, though we did not encounter this.  The boys loved to have their picture taken because they could look at the screen after the photo was taken and see themselves!
• Drivers in Accra, and in particular Taxi drivers, use their horns incessantly!  Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but only a slight one.  At times it was as if horns had replaced all forms of communication.  They beeped to notify of turning, beeped to cut into other lanes of traffic, beeped to get potential customers' attention, etc.  At times it was entertaining just to listen to the traffic.  At other times, not so much.....lol!
• Although many adults were able to speak English in Accra, when we were just listening to others speak (and weren't part of the conversation), they did not do so to each other.  They spoke much better English, however, then we spoke Twi!

The Man Behind the Curtain

I don't think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.
 - Abraham Lincoln

In large part, our trip to Ghana represented a type of quest for answers.  After all, it's only normal that visiting a foreign country inhabited by individuals speaking a foreign language, to meet children you've never met but that will soon become your own, lends itself to a lot of unknowns.

As with Dorothy during her stay in Oz, we too discovered our own wizard, and his name was Samuel Kofi Offong, our POA, and more importantly, the director of the boys' orphanage in Kwahu.  It would be very difficult for us to adequately describe the respect and appreciation that we have for Kofi.  Perhaps the greatest compliment we can convey is that as a parent, there is no question that he is the type of individual that you would pray your son or daughter would grow up to emulate.

During our final day in Ghana, we had the opportunity to spend a considerable amount of time with Kofi who had been accompanied by the boys' mother and baby sister.  In discussing a number of events and reactions that we had observed throughout the week, Kofi provided us answers to many different circumstances, some of which we speculated correctly about, and others of which we totally missed the mark.

We thought it would be fun to share some of the clarifications, if for no other reason than to provide further reminders to us regarding our initial meeting with our two newest family members.

One of the issues that became apparent to us right away was the boys' reaction when a jet would fly over.  Our hotel seemed to be fairly in line with outgoing flights and whenever a jet would pass over us, both of the boys would immediately scramble to make eye contact with the airliner, as well as begin to sing a song relative to "air-o-planes". 

Our plane after arriving in Ghana.

We speculated that neither of them had seen many airplanes that close and Kofi confirmed that in the village, seeing planes was very rare, thus their incredible enthusiasm upon seeing even a small plane fly over.

Another incident that occurred that we didn't expect, and in this case we totally missed with our diagnosis, was Kwame's reaction to receiving a bath.

On the first night, he was very timid, but didn't really appear to be scared while receiving his bath.  The only aspect we thought was a bit unusual was that he refused to sit down in the tub, and appeared to be somewhat apprehensive about what was going on.

On the second night, there was no question that he was terrified of receiving his bath.  As Michele attempted to lower him into the bathtub, he shrieked, kicked, and cried hysterically as if he was suffering some sort of pain.  She immediately brought him back out and attempted to console and comfort him to assure him that everything was okay.  He finally relaxed enough to receive a bath, but remained very timid.  The next evening Alexis suggested having Koby enter first and then giving Kwame a bath at the same time so that he would understand there was nothing to fear, and this idea seemed to work very well.

Our immediate hypothesis was that at some point Kwame had either had a bad experience with bodies of water (since at this point it was apparent he was not comfortable being in a swimming pool either), or that perhaps he had been burned by very hot water previously and wasn't comfortable enough with us yet to trust us not to do the same.  It turns out that neither of our theories was even close to correct.

Kofi explained to us that the boys would not have recognized a bathtub as the village utilized streams to wash themselves with, either by standing at the stream and washing themselves by dipping their hands into the streams, or by bringing buckets of water up from the streams and washing themselves in a similar manner after reaching into the buckets. 

This was extremely enlightening to us, and explained a great deal relative to Kwame's reactions.  It also highlighted the degree of bravery that Koby displayed throughout the week with the swimming pool and bathtub, despite being as unfamiliar with both as his younger brother.

There was another entertaining experience with Koby while we were on one of our numerous taxi rides.  It should be noted that the six of us taking taxi rides together was basically the equivalent of a clown car in a circus!  Michele, Alexis, and myself would each have a child on our lap.  When you see the size of the typical taxi in Ghana, and then picture the six of us in addition to the driver, the scene had to be amusing to those walking by trying to peddle things to us.

Anyway, during one particular ride, Koby was sitting on my lap in the front passenger seat and he began to sing a song that basically went:

When you go out driving there is something you should know.
Red means stop, yellow means look/ready, and green means go, go, go, and go!

He continued to sing this song in very good English over and over.  We assumed that the orphanage was teaching the boys to sing songs in English to help them learn the language, and this was correct (they also sang songs such as Rain, Rain, Go Away, etc.)

What we didn't appreciate at the time, however, and what Kofi would clarify for us was why he started singing  the song and then repeating it.  Kofi stated that when the children learn the song about the traffic lights, they have no idea what the song is referring to because in the village, there are no traffic lights.

He explained that when they then come to visit a city such as Accra, it will suddenly dawn on them as they see the various lights and the associated colors that the traffic lights are indeed what the song they have learned is describing!  Upon hearing Kofi's explanation, it provided us yet another moment where we were able to see the boys make associations with words, phrases, or songs and for us to get to truly relish in just how quickly these two were able to learn.

Foreign cultures will always require some degree of recalibration relative to what the visitors are accustomed to in their own homeland.  For us, part of the adjustment necessary was getting used to the fact that many people in Ghana urinate outdoors when they need to go, many times wherever they need to go.  This, of course, caught us somewhat off-guard, and in fact the first time one of the boys walked from the pool area, across the sidewalk, and to the vegetation growing on the other side to relieve themselves, we were stunned.

It was obvious from the reactions of those around us, however, that this was not abnormal, and in fact we saw adults do the same thing (we only witnessed males, but apparently it's not unheard of that females would do the same).  It should be noted that it was always done discreetly and not in a manner in which inappropriate areas were exposed to others.  It was just something that we weren't used to noting outdoors in public areas.  Kofi did confirm that this was fairly normal there, even in Accra.

Finally, there was another custom relative to the eating habits in Ghana that left us very surprised.  As we've mentioned in a previous post, the boys absolutely loved chicken and rice.  As a family, we enjoy the same foods so this was not a problem for us at all, although for a few in our family, the spices were a little too spicy at times!  LOL!

What floored us was when we witnessed Koby begin to eat his bone from one of his chicken legs.  At first we believed he was simply gnawing the remaining meat off the bone, however when he put the bone down, it was apparent that the end was missing.  Needless to say, with us not knowing the culture well enough, we stopped the bone-eating initiatives immediately.

As it turns out, that was actually normal!  We explained what had happened to Kofi and he told us that in Ghana it is normal for individuals to eat the entire chicken, bones and all!  Likewise, when they eat fish, they eat the bones, head, eyes, etc.  While we very much wanted to conform as much as possible to the Ghanaian culture, and would like to keep as much of it alive as we possibly can when the boys join our family here in the States, this is a practice that we do not plan on maintaining! 

There are some practices that are better left in their home countries.....lol!!  :)

Our most sincere thanks to Kofi for explaining so much to us about life in Ghana, life for the boys and their families, stories about the orphanage, and various other pieces of insightful information that helped us understand so many things like we never would have without him.  We are forever grateful.

A Mother and Child Reunion an Ocean Away

There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.
 - Jill Churchill

There are specific moments in life that cause each of us to pause in nervous expectation and uncertainty.  Asking an individual for their hand in marriage, the birth of a child, or awaiting the results of a battery of tests that may or may not reveal a significant medical condition, describe just a few.

For us, there were two such instances during our trip to meet Koby and Kwame.  The first were the moments right before our eyes found them in the gathered crowd of people at the airport upon our arrival.  What would we say, how would they react, should we hug them, etc.?

The second occasion, and of no less significance, was the time immediately leading up to meeting the boys' biological mother, with many of the same questions screaming through our heads.  What should we say to her, would she resent us, would the kids quickly run to her and forget about us, and on and on?

As is generally the case in life, things have a way of working themselves out, and these two moments in time were no exception.  We wanted to share a little bit about Koby and Kwame's mother because of the unbelievable sacrifice she has made, and the respect she gained from us over the course of a few hours.

The boys' mother - Elizabeth

We met the boys' mother on the last day of our trip.  The original intent had been to meet her earlier in the week, but Kofi was blessed with the birth of his own child while we there, so the initial meeting was understandably postponed.

Kofi brought the boys' mother with him to the hotel as we waited in the lobby having already checked out.  We went to lunch together, and spent a good portion of the afternoon with her and the boys' baby sister, Ahna (our sincere apologies if this spelling is not correct).  The mother's name, we learned, is Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was very quiet, almost to the point where she could be described as somber, but she had a very warm smile when she chose to share it.  She liked to watch the boys interact with us, and in the normal cultural manner, she was strict if the boys acted up or whined.  There is no question in our minds, however, that she loved the boys very, very much, and through their reactions to her there was no question that they loved and respected her.

Kwame stayed fairly close to Elizabeth throughout and she played games with him using bottle caps.  Koby tended to be more adventurous, and given the fact we were eating along the Atlantic Ocean, a site neither the boys nor their mother had ever seen, he spent much of his time staring in awe at the waves and ships, as well as looking for seashells with Jordan.


The boys' sister was beautiful and Elizabeth nursed her during lunch while we asked Kofi numerous questions regarding the boys and their family.  We learned so much during that period of time, the most significant of which was that Elizabeth knew that the boys being adopted was in their best interest, and their only real hope of being properly cared for.

Elizabeth, as well as the boys, had never been to Accra before the week that we visited.  They had never seen the ocean, and the boys had never been away from biological family members that long, since much of the family lives in the village of Kwahu where the orphanage is located, and see the boys frequently.  Kofi shared that it was difficult to see children born into poverty to the degree that simply eating anything during the course of a day was a tremendous challenge.

It's very easy to delve into philosophical debates about whether or not women such as Elizabeth should have children in the first place given their economic hardships.  It's not our place to judge, nor can any of us truly put ourselves in her place and even remotely know what we would do.  She is a mother.  She has given birth to three beautiful children that we truly believe she loves with all her heart, much the same way that God loves each of us despite our individual flaws and errors.  Ultimately, she has had to make the incredibly difficult decision of ensuring that her children receive the best odds in life that she can provide them, and for her, that means allowing us to adopt two of them.

Elizabeth was with us when we said goodbye to the boys.  To further illustrate how truly appreciative and respectful she was, she never got out of the backseat of Kofi's car.  She allowed us to have our final time with the boys.  Kwame stayed in the backseat beside her as Koby broke down emotionally saying goodbye.  It was obvious that Kwame wasn't exactly sure how to react.

Michele and I both said and kissed Kwame goodbye in the backseat seated beside his mother.  Despite what she was witnessing with Koby's reaction to us leaving, as well as ours, she stated multiple times to Michele, "God Bless you".

It's impossible for us to know what was going through Elizabeth's mind as she watched her oldest son scream and beg for his "new" family not to leave him.  The obvious guess was that it had to break her heart in so many ways.  It's also possible, however, that she viewed it as a sign from God that this "new" family truly loved her boys, and they loved us.

In closing relative to the boys' mother, we'd like to say so many things to her if given another chance, but the core of anything we would say would simply be "thank you" and "God Bless you Elizabeth".  We pray that we contribute to making you very proud of your sons as they grow into men, and God willing, we pray that we're able to bring them back someday to see you.  They are, and always will be, our "sons".  You are, and always will be, their "mommy".

Chicken, Rice, Fanta, and Tears

Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.
- Winnie the Pooh

Koby didn't understand almost any of the words that Michele and I spoke to him yesterday as we left, yet emotionally his reaction, and simultaneously ours, as well as the reactions of Jordan and Alexis, could not have been more perfectly synchronized.

It would be too cliche to say things such as "the language of love is universal", etc., yet there's really no other way to convey what leaving was like. Koby screamed, cried, kicked at anyone that tried to put him in Kofi's car, and refused to let go of me while I tried to place him in the backseat myself. While this unfolded, our hearts broke more with each sob, knowing it will be months before we'll see the boys again.

Friends and family both have told us that we would need to remember that we're not abandoning them, that we'll be back for them, that they'll remember us, etc., but it's amazing how hollow those words feel inside, despite the fact that they are all so true. This week was absolutely a Gift from God.

The four of us, in conjunction with Koby and Kwame, formed a bond I personally would never have believed possible amongst individuals that had never met, despite what would have seemed lofty expectations at the outset. We obviously "loved" the boys from the moment we saw them on the About A Child waiting list.

For me, there was always that little whisper in the back of my mind regarding whether or not I could truly love children that weren't biologically mine to the same degree as the four that are. That doubt was eliminated so quickly, it's difficult now to recall whether or not it existed at all.

The title of this page is intended to remind Michele, the kids, and myself just how much those two boys truly loved chicken, rice, and Fanta, and obviously to reflect somewhat on yesterday. Now, after starting to type, I think it would be better if this particular entry was left short and sweet and we discuss other topics in future posts.

Koby and Kwame, we love you both with all our hearts and we cannot wait to hold you close to us again.

Reluctantly Down the Home Stretch We Come

God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house. God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives. God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war. God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them.
- Bono

It’s really hard to put into words how much the boys have learned in the week we’ve been together, as well as how incredible it is to watch them interact with each other and to observe the things that they do individually.

Koby has picked up so many words and small phrases and he’ll even complete patterns such as when Michele would point to parts of his face and name them in English. He now knows exactly what “eyes”, “nose”, and “mouth” means and identifies them right away when we point to these features on his face, or another person’s face.

The way that the boys get along together is so tremendous. There is no question that the orphanage has taught them a great deal, but that they obviously realize intuitively that they are family. They will wrestle, or “fight” as Koby likes to call it (he also calls it “boxing” which amazed us since they really assume boxing stances), but when the action starts, Koby will lay Kwame down ever so gently to ensure he doesn’t bang his head, etc. This is not to say that he doesn’t land a couple of good shots from time to time, but if he hurts Kwame in any manner, he will quickly make sure he’s okay.

They also have truly exemplary manners at the dinner table. Again, we have to believe that much of this credit goes to Kofi and his staff at the orphanage based on what we know about their lives beforehand. This is in no way meant to disparage the boys’ mother, but instead simply acknowledges how extremely difficult the family had it in terms of their struggle to find food.

They sit quietly at the table, use their napkins, use utensils quite well (especially Kwame given his diminutive stature and only being three-years-old). Koby still has a tendency to beg for the food of others after he gets done, and is very picky about what he begs for, but this has to be something that is still engrained in him after years of begging for any food.

It’s fun to watch their mannerisms as well. For example, today Kwame wore a light blue polo shirt (which he looked adorable in, but he’s adorable regardless). He was so concerned from the time he started wearing it that it be tucked in. If we put him in different shirts for pictures, and then changed back, he made sure it was tucked in. When we took him to the bathroom, he made sure it was tucked in afterwards. They both did it when we put them in their soccer (football……we need to get used to that, at least until we teach them Buckeye football!) jerseys. It is so interesting to watch as it has to be something they’ve learned via going to school, etc.

There is no way of knowing what they’ll actually retain between now and when we finally get to come back and take them home relative to what they’ve learned from us (and believe me, there’s things Jordan taught them we hope they forget…….lol), but just witnessing how quickly they learn leaves us little doubt that they will do great, albeit taking some length of time, when they get to the States.

Today we took a trip to Koala Market to purchase some items and then look for some souvenirs to bring back from our trip. We’re not sure if we mentioned this or not yet, but nothing here is purchased for what it is asked outside of actual stores. Everything from taxi rides to street vendors is an ongoing bargaining process, and unlike some of the mistakes we made early with the taxis, we had a good day today for the kids and ourselves relative to the items we purchased. We did buy all three boys football jerseys that they loved. We wish we could bottle the expression on Koby’s face when we purchased his jersey for him. We would share it with everyone we possibly could to lift their spirits anytime something brought them down. We wondered if anyone had ever purchased them each their own new jerseys. Regardless, they were very excited and appreciative.

Tomorrow is our last day here and I’m not sure that either of us could describe what we’re feeling adequately. For me, there is obviously a part that wants to return home to resume a life full of conveniences. The bigger part of me, however, would like to stay here indefinitely, helping as many people as I possibly could in addition to giving Koby and Kwame a home.

Despite spending an incredible week with two extraordinary little guys, as well as the joy of being together with Alexis and Jordan, it’s impossible to ever fully not take into account the unbelievable poverty here. The adage regarding the “elephant in the room” could not be more appropriate, at least for me. It’s just very hard psychologically and as a Christian to fully come to terms with the abject poverty, and not feel ashamed for not doing more to help. I have always wondered what drives a person to participate in missionary work. I no longer have that question.

In fact, it’s now quite the opposite. I find myself wondering if there would truly be a more fulfilling occupation than knowing that every day of your life you’re having a significant impact on improving the lives of others. There is no question that individuals who do this type of work make a sacrifice that receives nowhere near the credit and honor that it deserves, but perhaps that’s the whole point. Perhaps it’s the selfless nature that makes it even more admirable and meaningful.

There is so much else to write regarding our events the last couple of days and we haven’t been able to post due to the Wi-Fi being out in the hotel for quite awhile, but this one is getting long so we’ll have to write more later. God Bless

Moving Forward Living in Reverse

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
- Brandon Heath

We've spent the past couple of days with another American family that we met here at the hotel, Aric and Juleigh Smith. They have a daughter that is (3)-years-old that was adopted previously, and they're in the process of finalizing an adoption later this month of an (18)-month-old boy that is with them now. It's been terrific to meet others from back home, and particularly Aric and Juleigh because they've been here quite awhile. Their story is fairly lengthy, and we don't think it would be appropriate to share it in a format such as this, but it's definitely appropriate to say that they have been through a tremendous amount, both heartbreaking, and inspirational.

Today Michele, Jordan, and I walked with Aric to a local produce stand to buy fresh fruit and a local Guest House (our understanding is they house individuals here doing mission work) in which the Smith's were acquaintances of the staff and we were able to buy Beef and Chicken Pies (they were like Pot Pies back home but homemade and the breading was like pie crust.....they were delicious!!). We purchased fresh pineapples, mangoes, and oranges at the produce stand and they too were very tasty as an after-dinner treat. We've tried very hard to do everything possible to save money anyway that we can as things here are very expensive, particularly when you throw in the taxi service to and from eating establishments.

While we were gone, Alexis provided babysitting services for the boys. Kwame slept the whole time and Koby cried the whole time. We had been at the pool quite awhile this morning (and this can be verified by sunburn on various family members.....lol!) and Koby was extremely tired, but there is more to this that we'll touch on later.

It's hard to describe what walking around our hotel is like to those that have never been here. There are goats and chickens wandering the streets and while the people we pass are friendly, it's hard not to feel that many of them are simply attempting to make it through another day. The hotels, as well as most other establishments including homes, are surrounded by solid walls topped by electric or razor wire. People we've spoken to claim that crime is not bad but that the walls act as deterrents.

The traffic here is unbelievable, with many of the drivers seemingly creating their own rules, but there does not seem to be a high number of accidents that we've witnessed, so perhaps everyone is so accustomed to the way that people drive that it doesn't really pose a problem like we would expect back home. Obviously the infrastructure is very fragile and roadways are narrow. The power grid is also shaky and even in Accra, power can go out a couple of times a week (we lost power in this area twice last night).

This is in no way intended to be a slight towards Accra, or Ghana, or Africa. It is an attempt (and perhaps it's a really weak one as I don't believe anyone could truly appreciate the lives people live here without experiencing it themselves) to express how incredulous it is that such a disparity could exist economically on the same planet. To see the children here, to hear the stories about the starvation, their treatment, their fights to simply survive, and to know that we're in the "good" part of Africa, is simply abhorrent, and a travesty before God. God has not failed these people. We have dramatically failed God.

To many, this will seem melodramatic, sound like a "reallocation of wealth" speech, etc. For those of you that know us, you know that could not be farther from the truth. This is simply a blog from two people that can't rationalize how there could be so many resources on Earth, yet children like Koby and Kwame spent the first nearly five and three years of their lives begging for food to survive. We haven't been able to post many pictures, but if you've seen those that Alexis has posted, they are extremely small. They are malnourished, and that's after spending two months in an orphanage where we know they are fed and well-cared for. It's hard to fathom what they looked like before that. We have a beautiful one-year-old grandson and there is no question that Brantley is bigger than Kwame, who we're told is three. Koby and Kwame are absolutely gorgeous little boys, but their lack of size is sometimes incredible to comprehend.

As for the boys, they are both doing very well overall! Kwame has especially grown attached to Alexis and his little hand is often holding hers being led this way or that.

Koby loves to swim, loves to color (actually they both love that!), and has learned so much in three days. He is learning English so fast it's beyond impressive. He can count to nearly (30), now knows right away what various phrases mean such as "going swimming", "brush our teeth", etc. He has an insatiable appetite for learning.

Kwame watches Koby often and loves to emulate his older brother. He also loves to learn new things and they both, like all children, are so happy when they can please mommy and daddy with their latest achievement (we've seen a lot of colored pictures in the last two days.......lol!!).

There are many aspects of their behavior, however, that we can't understand because we can't honestly appreciate what they've been through, and we can't understand what they're trying to say. It's unquestionable that Kobe is the more frustrated of the two at times because he can obviously communicate well with other people here, yet he's in a situation where we have no clue what he is saying. We try to have others help interpret when possible, and that helps, but it is so hard for him, we're sure.

Kofi explained in detail about their necessity for begging for food and that explanation is definitely accurate to some of the things we've witnessed regarding their frustration when we have to simply say "no" after they've had enough. We literally are running out of food and we brought a considerable amount with us. They really do eat as if each meal is their last. We're sure that once they are with us and trust the fact that they will be fed nutritional and properly proportioned meals, this behavior will stop, but for now, it's unbelievable to watch how much two boys this small can eat. It's another in a long list of things you really "have to see to believe" that we've been a part of during this trip.

Koby has times where he seems to be grieving. Again, because of the communication barriers, we're not certain if this is the first time he's been away from his family for this long, is simply scared because he is now truly on his own since we can't speak his language and he's never experienced this before, or any number of other possible explanations. We mention the family because our understanding is that some of the kids in the orphanage actually have relatives that live nearby and they see their aunts, uncles, etc., periodically, or even frequently. We don't know if that applies to Koby and Kwame or not, but we'll find out from Kofi later in the week.

In closing for now, there is no doubt in our minds that adopting these two boys truly is a Blessing from God. In reading this blog back prior to publishing, it might come across as kind of a "downer" to some. We certainly don't look at it that way at all. This trip has also been reaffirming from a Faith standpoint. It's truly been a Divine wake-up call to show us how truly lucky we are. I can't speak for Michele, but I can admit that I've cried more than once being here. It's really sad at times to see people have to live like this, through no fault of their own other than the misfortune on their part of where they were born.

It is impossible to be here and not feel ashamed at the things we consider to be hardships in the United States. We have no idea what hard lives are, and that includes many that we would consider "impoverished". We continue to pray that even though it's only two boys, that this adoption touches numerous others along the way, and they too choose to act to lift up another human being that is truly suffering. Sometimes, it's the littlest of things that turn a life around. We recently heard a saying that rang true for us........."It's not how much you give, it's that you give what you can".

It's also hard to not be discouraged by how long the adoption process is, and how unbelievably expensive it is to adopt a child, and we've been lucky enough to have a tremendous agency and orphanage to work with, as well as being matched with two incredible orphans very quickly.

Given the horrendous state of this world relative to the number of orphans, in conjunction with the number of families that surely would provide loving homes to so many, there has to be a way to improve the overall process. The costs, documentation, enhanced in-country requirements, and a variable list of other drawbacks are not helping those that are the most vulnerable of us all.....the orphans.

There is no question that the United States can do more to promote adoptions of all kinds, but in particular international adoptions. We pray that this happens soon, because each day that goes by for millions of children with no families throughout a myriad of countries, life continues to be little more than hoping to live to see the next day, or worse, praying that they won't. God Bless.

Of Flight Delays and Lost Teeth

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us. What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.
- Albert Pine

First and foremost, we have to apologize to everyone that was expecting routine updates.......we were expecting to provide them! There are a number of reasons, excuses, and justifications we could provide, however, the truth is entertaining four children in a foreign country when only two of them speak English is really hard. (Okay, the internet is painfully slow here too, but having it at all is a Blessing, so we can't complain about that one).

As you probably know by now, our flight from D.C. to Accra was delayed (24) hours so we spent the night in a hotel courtesy of United Airlines the first night of our trip. Again, it's hard to complain as they were very friendly, provided plenty of meal vouchers, and we had the awesome experience of meeting a couple on their way to visit their daughter and her family (their grandchildren) that live on a Mercy Ship off the coast of Africa providing free healthcare to the citizens near the coast of Sierra Leone.

It's hard to describe the emotions of listening to the grandmother regarding what her daughter's family, and the numerous doctors, nurses, and other healthcare providers do for the people of Africa in that region. We saw pictures of numerous children that were born with their feet backward, and that had walked that way for years before surgery to correct them. We saw pictures of women that had endured goiters that covered almost all of their faces for nearly their entire lives, rendering them nearly blind and forced to scavenge for food after dark, yet were the most beautiful women you could imagine after surgeries to remove the growths.

On and on the stories went, heartbreaking at one point, and so Glorious in the next, pictures of people who truly know the meaning of thanks and happiness. The smiles on the faces of children and adults alike after medical and dental surgeries was so uplifting, it was like looking at pictures of what Heaven must truly look like. To compound the Glory of her stories, all of the medical professionals pay to stay there. Not one medical professional is paid. Her daughter and her daughter's husband sold everything they owned in the United States to move their and provide the services that they provide. Needless to say, it was humbling, and overwhelmingly uplifting, to hear her stories and share in their journey to see their grandchildren.

It was quite obvious in speaking to her that her daughter had gotten her desire to help others honestly as the grandmother had given birth to (8) of her own children and her and her husband had been foster parents to (82) others. It was hard not to feel like our delay was almost meant to be to help Michele and I know we were following the right path.

Arriving in Accra was thrilling, but also somewhat discouraging. Truth be told, we were not prepared for the level of poverty there truly is here. That might sound naive on our part, but things we had read and discussions we had taken part in with friends from Nigeria indicated that Ghana was one of the more developed and economically prosperous countries in this area, thus I think we convinced ourselves it would be somewhat like say, Dayton (lol!). This is not Dayton! We are going through the school of hard knocks regarding all of the "helpful" people that then demand money, or the taxi drivers that we've been taken by because we didn't know any better regarding appropriate rates. We're hoping we learn before we're out of money!

Okay, I'm sure you're ready to hear about the boys! They are beautiful, they are loud, they are good-natured, and they are lacking nourishment! We call them their "weekday" names, Koby and Kwame (Daniel and Deric), as we have discovered that Daniel and Deric are their "school" names. Koby has told us their entire school names, which includes their last names, but we aren't certain as to exactly what he is saying so we'll have to wait to include those in our updates.

They are extremely affectionate, especially towards me, but they enjoy both of us holding them and call us "daddy" and "mommy" all the time. Koby sobbed himself to sleep the first night, but he appeared to be "over-tired" and last night was much better. Last night was more difficult for Jordan, however, as sleeping most of the flight caught up with him and he didn't fall asleep until about 5:00 a.m. Accra time, thus giving him about (3) hours of sleep before breakfast! He's being a trooper though and has been in the pool with Koby and myself most of the day!!

Koby loves to swim with me holding him while Kwame is not comfortable in the water, but loves to sit along the side and put his feet in while mommy sits by him. Alexis is working on her tan (lol!!). The weather is beautiful here, not nearly as excruciatingly hot as we anticipated. There is a great breeze and the sun feels great! It stormed hard the first night we slept and the lightning was spectacular.

As for the boys eating, it is borderline unreal! I have never seen anything like it given their size versus their consumption! Kofi (the director of the orphanage in Kwahu that met us at the airport with the boys) shared with us that the boys' mother could not afford food for them so prior to being turned over to the orphanage, they would both have to beg for food to eat. This meant that some days, they did not eat at all, and other days they ate only once if people would give them food.

Kofi shared that this is normal for so many children here and that the poverty here is very bad. Their mother just gave birth to another child and it too will end up in the orphanage as she did not have money to even pay the hospital bill so they would not release her to leave until Kofi helped her out financially.

Kofi is currently working on (2) orphanage constructions simultaneously because, as he said, "the children keep coming and coming". It is so humbling to listen to Kofi describe the things he is trying to do for these children, as well as talking about the number of children from Ghana he has placed in the United States the past year-plus. It's hard not to think of all the things we do for "us", and yet there are people like Kofi whose whole life is dedicated to helping others. He is truly a Saint.

Finally, for now, you're probably wondering what's with the 'Lost Teeth' portion of the title. When we started spending time with the boys and they began to get more comfortable with us (which didn't take long!!), Koby shared with us that his front tooth on the bottom was very loose (he showed us since we couldn't understand what he was trying to tell us).

Today at the pool, he was on a floatation ring when he started looking around in the water. We asked him what he was looking for and he looked up and smiled and his tooth had come out!! It was so incredible that we got to witness that with him and Jordan, Alexis, and I searched and searched the bottom of the pool to try and find the tooth, but unfortunately we couldn't. It was still, however, an incredibly fun moment and Koby smiled and smiled showing us and his little brother Kwame numerous times!

For a teaser for next time, we've met other people here from the United States that are in our hotel and also adopting, and Koby and Kwame have a habit of peeing whenever and wherever they have to go (lol)! Of course that seems to be a cultural thing as we've seen men doing the same thing outside our hotel and on taxi rides. Anyway, we have to go so our hotel room doesn't get destroyed......soccer is on TV!!!

We'll have to add pictures later as that truly is a function of the internet here!