The Unbearable Weight of Waiting

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.
- Isaiah 1:17

It's not difficult to recognize when a person feels sincere joy. Not the expression you witness when someone is simply pleased, but the look that a person has that is beyond being happy. It's an emotion that seems to radiate from both the outside and the inside of him or her, almost literally creating a "glow".

That definition then would describe the way that Jordan and Alexis appear to us as we draw ever so close to meeting their little brothers! Whether it's Alexis' sharing of their pictures or talking to others about the things we know about them, or Jordan's constant planning of all the things he can't wait to show them, there is no mistaking how excited they are to welcome them into our family.

Our handsome little grandson - Brantley!!

And then of course there is Ashley who cannot wait to meet them, calls daily to check on status updates, and has taught Brantley to speak Twi (okay, that last part was fabricated!).

We learned a number of things this week, and in the midst of our continuous learning curve, we almost committed our first big mistake relative to all of the documentation required for the adoption process, as well as the travel.

We didn't file our visa applications for entry into Ghana until two weeks prior to our flight dates using information we had gathered from various sources to determine we'd probably only need a week. We did not, however, take into account that the Ghana embassy is closed every Friday and that this past Monday was a holiday! Needless to say, we spent a few days writing emails, leaving voice messages, and preparing for the worst. Of course our visas arrived with days to spare! It's funny now.....it wasn't that funny then!

We reached a milestone this week by receiving our finalized homestudy! This allows us to submit our dossier to Ghana to allow our POA Kofi to set up a court date. Because we're leaving very soon, we'll hand deliver that to him when we arrive. The process marches on!

The homestudy also allowed us to submit another key form which was our petition for adoption, or I-600A. Okay, we want to clarify for anyone fact checking that we're not exactly sure what all these forms are actually for.......just that we have to submit them! LOL!

Finally, the homestudy allows us to start filing for Grants and Loans, which definitely comes in handy right now given the fact that we'll soon be paying the next large installment for our adoption fees and we're assuming someone is going to want to be paid for the airline tickets at some point! :)

Most importantly this week, aside from continuing to pray and give thanks for this incredible journey we're taking, we were notified that Kofi will be at the airport when we land WITH Daniel and Deric at his side! He will then take us all to the hotel and we will spend the entire week with the two of them as any other family would do!

We'll be posting lots of pictures while we're gone and hopefully updating everyone as often as we can!

Maybe it's really easy to recognize sincere joy when it's something you feel yourself. This week, along with so many others of late, our family shared in sincere joy.

From Hopes to Hugs

Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.
- Sally Koch

The adoption process is emotionally draining. Each week there can literally be dozens of peaks and valleys that a family goes through as the process moves forward, stalls, or in some cases, ends sadly. In international adoptions, additional factors can exacerbate the challenge due to time differences, inferior or non-existent communication technology, etc. For us, this week represented a little of each side of the adoption coin with one major peak.........it's official..........we are going to meet Daniel and Deric towards the end of this month!!!



Daniel (Koby) and Deric (Kwame)

The four of us will be spending a week in Ghana with the boys, getting to know them, to learn their personalities, to bond with them, and likewise for them to have the opportunity to get to know us. It's hard to put our excitement into words. It would also be an understatement to say that we're not a little scared. So many thoughts go through our heads as the reality of meeting them for the first time draws closer. There are little concerns such as what do we say to them when we meet, what do we do the entire week given we'll be foreigners in an unfamiliar culture with a limited budget?

There are then the bigger concerns, those surrounding the emotional and maternal/paternal issues. Having had the opportunity to converse with other parents adopting orphans from Ghana, many have expressed the difficulty in leaving the children behind after spending time bonding with them for a week or more.

Numerous families indicated that orphans from Ghana bond very quickly with their new families, often calling them 'Mama' and 'Papa' almost immediately, cuddling with them, and exhibiting sincere affection. Should we be Blessed enough for that to be the case with Daniel and Deric, how do we explain to them that we are not abandoning them as we pack for our return flight to America without them?

We are so thankful for the support and encouragement that we have received. We will continue to try and update information to this blog as events occur we think others would be interested in, or that includes feedback that people have asked us about.

It is unashamedly that we include a request for financial assistance should you find it in your heart to do so. We have teamed up with One Hundred Good Wishes as an avenue for individuals such as yourselves, or others you may know that feel strongly about adoption/assisting orphans, to contribute to the adoption of Daniel and Deric. There is nothing to buy.....it is simply a donation directly into our adoption fund. Every cent that is contributed goes to the adoption expenses we are incurring.

Our current estimates for the overall expenses relative to the adoption are approximately $32,000. We are hoping to raise $15,000 through efforts such as One Hundred Good Wishes. Should we be fortunate enough to surpass that amount, we have committed to sending the money above that total to the orphanage in Kwahu that Daniel and Deric are presently residing in.

As always, we can't thank you enough for your continued help and support!! Simply click on the link below to be directed to our site dedicated to bringing Daniel and Deric home!! God Bless!

Meeting the Players

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
- James 1:27 (NLT)

First and foremost, we thank God for providing us the opportunity to bring these two children into our family. Our process thus far, however, has allowed us to learn just how many individuals sacrifice their time, personal finances, and emotional commitment to make sure that these children find a loving home.



Daniel and Deric in yellow t-shirts!

For us, our first encounter with people that truly are doing the Lord's work occurred when we finally settled on an adoption agency after an extensive review of more agencies than we ever imagined existed. Looking back, finding About A Child adoption agency, and in particular the individual responsible for the Ghana program, Carla, was nothing short of miraculous. The lack of large-scale advertising and solicitation, in addition to the immense amount of time she spent talking to us late at night, long after her work day was finished, meant more than she'll ever know.

When we committed to them, the Ghana program was their newest addition in terms of countries they work with, and the very week that we were granted access to their website as adoptive parents, Carla had just posted pictures of two children from Ghana to the agency's Waiting List. Those two children were Deric and Daniel, ages 3 and 5 respectively.

Deric being shy and Daniel clowning around!

Why is this significant? Prior to committing to Adopt A Child, we spent considerable time detailing what we were looking for in terms of children to adopt. In the end, we specified that we were looking for a healthy boy between the ages of three and five. We knew that we wanted to adopt a child older than an infant, and that unfortunately we didn't feel we could adopt a child with Special Needs at this time.

While we initially intended to only adopt one child, adopting brothers felt more and more "right" to us after discussing it, given that we believed it would help them settle into their new family/culture easier having each other to lean on when necessary. Besides, after seeing the smile on the faces of each child, it would have been very hard to feel otherwise!



Christmas Day - Daniel in orange shirt with sunglasses on his head!

The next person we have become familiar with, and will be meeting very soon, is the individual that About A Child, and Carla specifically, works with in Ghana. His name is Kofi and he runs the orphanage where the children are, as well as being in the process of building a new orphanage. The orphanage is in Kwahu and while there is so much more we can write concerning how glorious Kofi's actions are in the lives of so many children, we'd prefer to let videos and pictures describe it instead!

Kofi's New Orphanage in Kwahu! <==== Click Here to Watch!!
Video showing construction of new orphanage opening at the end of March.



Christmas - Daniel on far right in orange shirt and cool shades!













Seeking Help - It Truly Takes a Village

Only those who ask for more can get more and only those who know there is more, ask.
- Alan Cohen

Sometimes it's difficult to ask others for help. There are times, however, when swallowing our pride and acknowledging that we can't always go it alone is necessary to achieve a greater good. So it is with adoption. Bringing Daniel and Deric into our home will not simply require the love and nurturing of us as parents and siblings, but will instead require contributions from immediate and extended family, friends, pastors, employers, co-workers, teachers, coaches, etc. No child can be raised adequately in a social vacuum.

Likewise, adoption requires a significant financial commitment as well. In total, through adoption and agency fees, travel, visas, etc, we will spend nearly $30,000 to bring Deric and Daniel home. This will be done through our savings, credit cards, grants and loans we are able to secure, fundraising, and donations. In other words, it will take an extended community to help achieve this incredible experience.

It is the out-of-pocket financial commitment that makes adoption so difficult for so many people, at the obvious expense of the orphans themselves. Fundraising is one way that we have chosen to help finance our adoptions and we have teamed up with a wonderful company that is willing to help us in these efforts as the owners of that company, Just Love Coffee, are also adoptive parents.

We ask that if you can find it in your hearts, you visit our site through the following link and click on the Shop and Support button on our page. A portion of any coffee or other products sold through our page are then contributed to our account to help us pay for adoption expenses. Just Love provides coffee for individuals and for small business and companies so if you know someone that is looking to purchase coffee in larger quantities, please link them to this site as well. Either of the following links will take you right to our page:

Just Love Coffee - Shaffer Adopt

www.justlovecoffee.com/shafferadopt

Thank you so much for taking the time to help us. If you believe as we do, your help will be repaid many times over in the future.

Our Adoption Journey Begins

People ask me. "What about gay adoptions? Interracial? Single Parent?" I say. "Hey fine, as long as it works for the child and the family is responsible." My big stand is this: Every child deserves a home and love. Period.
- Dave Thomas. Founder of Wendy's and adopted child

It's really hard to know where to begin or how we arrived here! Suffice it to say, we're in the midst of something glorious! We have been so blessed to have four beautiful biological children of our own and for all of us to enjoy good health. It only makes sense then to extend the love that we share in our own family to two children without a family of their own.

Current estimates indicate there are approximately 140 million orphans scattered throughout the world. To place more emphasis, there are currently 140,000,000 children in this world that have no family of their own. Given the resources we have on this planet, this is a statistic that seems staggering to comprehend. While we cannot realistically help every one of these children, there is no reason why we cannot help reduce that number in our own way.

Through God's help, we have been able to be matched with two of the most adorable boys (brothers) that we could ever imagine adopting.......Daniel (5) and Deric (3)!!!

Daniel

Deric